You Rascal!
by Surrealijah
Summary: This is an experimental crack story about Joshua and Eirika. Review as you will. Joshua x Eirika.


Warning: This is a crack pairing.

* * *

"Some say that secrets don't remain secrets forever. But sometimes, you wish some does,"

The fire crackled as Joshua fed it with more fig twigs and other hacked snags. Looking at the blaze as it dances like Tethys's locks on her dances satiated his visual cravings. He sat down the smooth desert boulder where the blue- eyed princess eased herself down. "Twigs courtesy of Ross," he mentioned nonchalantly.

Eirika looked at the crowd meters away from their isolation. She can hear Ephraim bantering with their knights. They were joined by Gerik, Garcia, Dozla and Colm. She wondered where the girls were.

And why Joshua asked for a time alone with her.

Finest of all the swordsmen in her troops. No one expected him to be the heir to the Jehanna throne. He had just lost his mother earlier. But he still shows the resolve like he had resigned everything to Fate. His bearing is more roguish than princely. Long , messy, red hair. Black overalls. The love for gambling. Free-spiritedness. She had never known how this guy perceived her, nor did she knew him fully. He seemed cool with almost everyone, even with the silent Knoll and the shy Myrrh. Cool without being opinionated.

"Thanks to the kid," she said, trying to break the ice. The guy settled close, too close to her. She felt a little discomfort, which she found silly. Joshua is not the type who hurt women.

"Yeah,"' all that he was able to mutter. There is an awkward silence that Eirika felt she must fill.

"Uhm, so… going back to the secrets," she recalled with little difficulty, "some, but not all. But when you feel that time when the secrets are suffocating your own peace, you must know when to come to terms,"

"Sounds like something I'd hear from your lover,"

"Lover?" she raised an eyebrow, but she blushed.

Joshua, ever the social experimenter, smiled teasingly, "Take your pick,"

Eirika took a little offense for making her feel like she's too up front with men, but decided not to take it heavily, "Oh, Joshua, you are playing one of your silly games with me,"

"No, no, Eirika," her name rolled like suede out of his voice. His face close to her, she can feel him breathe on her jaw line, "You mentioned something about too much secrets cramping your style, right? You must practice what you preach, OR, what your lover preaches, you sneaky princess, you,"

"Stop that," she snapped, slapping him on his arms in slight frustration. Joshua enjoyed her temper, but decided that he better keep his guard up. Man, he thought, that was quite a slap!

"Okay, I'll stop. He preaches, yes, but he isn't a bishop, but a sa-hmpp!" Joshua's mouth was playfully muffled by her hands. She was laughing , and so was he. He held her resistant hand, trying to gently pull it off from his mouth. He was tempted to sniff it. Lady always managed to smell decent, if not good.

"You're a rascal!"

"You're guilty as charged!" Joshua laughed her off.

"You speak as if you don't have secrets yourself!"

"Of course I do!" Joshua shifted from cocky to serious, like he was focusing on what to do, or say, next. He glanced directly in her eyes, without inhibition, saying, "Would you like to know them?"

Eirika sensed discomfort yet again. She turned away from him and looked at the fire instead. She looked at the gathering of the men, and they were already having a noisy drinking contest. Gerik must have passed out, and everyone, even the prim Innes sounded drunk. She could visualize Joshua to be one with them. But not tonight.

"I-I'm not like you, I'm not pushy,"

"I'm just trying to help out," Joshua said, touching her on the shoulders in a brotherly way, "you don't know how to relax. Say, we tell each other one secret. I promise not to tell anyone, not even Saleh,"

Eirika was silenced, and she felt herself flushed. "W-what has h-he- g-got to do-"

"Stammering!"

"So?" she tried to keep a straight face despite her obvious fidgeting, "He's like my counselor. I like him,"

" Moulder is a counselor. Artur counsels, heck, even Innes does, or Lute, if you want a geeky smartass. You know, that's not a secret, especially that ALL of us had seen you out together frequently. Small wonder if he formally courts you, y'know, like Seth did and failed miserably. Except for the 'fail' part, if you know what I mean," Joshua smiled widely, looking at the clear dessert sky.

The skies. He was told by Natasha that the heavens are home to kind, departed souls._ If that is the case, _hethought_, I am asking your help, Mom. Help me get rid of a secret that might destroy me and my future._

_Our future, Natasha and I._

"So, Eirika, tell me a secret, a real one that no one knows, not even Tana,"

"Now you are commanding me," She said wryly, looking at him like he's a hopeless case.

"What do you have to lose? I have my honor, Eirika. I dislike fighting and shaming women, you know that. I may look like an idiot, but once and for all..." Joshua paused, then sighed in resignation. He shook his head, "I just want you to trust me,"

True that, she grew wiser with the war. Foolhardy she barely is, and even most men are intimidated by her. With the exception of the sage of course. Lucky bastard, he thought.

"Okay, I trust you. But you must tell me one of yours too. Go on with yours,"

"No, ladies first. Please tell me if you have a secret fondness for anyone… you know, Saleh aside," His words stuck to her like the heaviest secret to bear. Eirika sensed a secret game. There IS a secret game he is playing with her. Okay, Joshua, she thought, I'm going to play along.

"Ahaha! That's easy!" she feigned the calmness, but she thinks the prince didn't buy it. She swallowed a lump on her throat and looked away, "Kyle,"

"Kyle," Joshua said flatly, interest faded suddenly, "why?"

"He's responsible, grounded, SANE-"

"-BORING. You have a thing for boring guys," he teased, chuckling lightly, shaking his head. She exhaled in relief, and smiled, satisfied. She looked at him, and she noticed that he's still uneasy over something. Anxious. Fidgety. Just like her a moment back. She suddenly pitied him.

"Joshua?" she called, carefully assessing him like a fragile child. She spoke with more tenderness this time, "Are you still okay? I just hope that… that you don't trick me out of the secret,"

"I know, I know." He stood up. He looked like he just lost a million gold worth of a wager. He put out the fire with the sand. He kicked profusely, not because he needs more sand for the smudge, but because he was somehow extinguishing something in him: f ear.

"So? Your secret?"

Joshua turned to her and hugged her with one arm. His other hand on his pocket. She was taken aback, but she did not resist. It was like an ordinary hug that Eph could have given her on any other day, but she felt herself grew redder. He was not intoxicated or anything. He smelled like dates and herbs, possibly musk or incense from the temple hall where her mother was interred. She felt like time froze.

"Joshua…" her voice faltered weakly. Like a demand to let go and tell her more about what the hug was all about. But the man thought that she was already squeezed and needs air. She heard his familiar cool chuckle fading in the hot dry Jehanna wilderness.

"Yeah," he scratched his head, a coy smile curved on his lips. He snickered, and suddenly, scratched her soft hair on her crown, shaking it like Saleh does on Ewan, or Garcia to Ross. She felt like a little girl being poked fun with by a bigger brother. "I've always liked womanly women, like Natasha. But there's always room for certain exceptions,"

But there was a bigger question in her mind. What was Joshua trying to say?

"Stop that!" She winced, and Joshua did. He kicked the sand to the dying makeshift heath once more, and before walking away, pinched her on her nose, annoying her yet again.

"G'night, Princess, let's head for camp," Joshua walked on, head bowed, hands on his pocket, leaving her behind. He headed for the drinking crowd, needing his fix of alcohol.

"…No fair! Your secret, you haven't told me-"

"Did so!" he shouted.

She stood for a moment. And suddenly like a drunk woman herself, she began laughing. "You rascal!"

"I know!"

"You're such a chicken!"

"Yeah, I know!"

She caught up with Joshua and elbowed him, "If you ever fool around, I'll go tell Natas-hmff!"

His laughter echoed in the air, "Eirika, I'll rat out on you if you do-OW! Don't bite my fingers! No elbowing on the sides!"

They were met by the half- sober men. The girls are already in the gathering, too. She smiled at Joshua as she politely forgo the wine and went in her tent. Joshua tilted his hat goodnight. Gerik called on him, "Yow, Joowshuah, c'mere and joinushh,"

"Nah," he said, smiling contentedly, "I'll pass on liquor for now, I'm already intoxicated with truth,"

He retreated in his tent, before he gets quizzed by the drunk mercenary leader. Besides, he had just conquered four secrets today: the fact that he is officially orphaned, that he likes another apart from Natasha, that Lady Luck's luster wore kind of smooth on him, and that for the first time, he is scared of what the future holds. Eirika was right. He's a chicken.

He heard Gerik grumble outside. "You sounded like that squishy sage we knew! Real men need alcohol!"

He lay down and smiled, sleepily yawning.

_Real men need alcohol. Today, Mom, Natasha, and Eirika proved you wrong, Gerik._

_Maybe I should try to be boring for a change… or maybe not._

-finis-


End file.
